Make It Heartfelt

Muddy Water

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In the present moment I am lying on our dock and thinking how much I wish all of you could experience this place. It is early spring here and the world feels like it is just starting to come alive. In the last few days the lake water has begun to rise as the snow melts off the mountains, birds have returned, singing their sweet songs as squirrels scurry about collecting new feasts to store away. A woodpecker is currently tapping away at a standing deadwood here on the shoreline and I can see an eagle soaring far overhead in the endless, cloudless blue sky while two does wander down the hill for a drink. A honk of a goose draws my attention out to the lake just as a trio takes flight, their wing tips barely grazing the surface of the glass like lake. If tranquility were a physical location, I think this is what it would look like. It is a masterpiece. I mean literally, artists from all over the world come to paint this corner of heaven here on earth. The textures, the colors, the array of wildlife. It takes your breath away. 

One of the interesting things about Flathead Lake is how incredibly clear it is. Even at it’s deepest point, you can look down and see the bottom through the glacial waters. From where I am laying right now the water is about 100 feet away or so, and I can clearly make out each individual pebble under the crystal blue. It is truly amazing, especially for a girl like me who grew up swimming in the muddy waters of the South. I remember jumping into Old Hickory and not being able to see my own body below the water. Can we be honest though? If you could see everything that was in those Southern waters, you might never jump in. Snapping turtles, catfish, venomous serpents, alligators…there is so much in those murky waters that could harm you and you would never see it coming. 

I don’t know about you, but somewhere along the way I convinced myself that I want life to be like Flathead Lake. I want it to be so clear that I never stumble from an unseen obstacle. I want to be able to look down and know where the next step is, trusting in my footing and ability to navigate the way. Everything would be so much easier if I just could SEE what was coming. I think God must chuckle at us when we say things like this. I mean He must well and truly belly laugh at us. It is just so silly to think that if I knew what was coming, I would be able to bridge the gap between where I am and where I need to be successfully. If all I had to trust in was my own abilities and skill set, even seeing a threat coming from a mile away would seldom be enough. The likelihood is that in my attempt to wrench my weapons free, I would loose my footing and fall into the icy depths. And then what? What if what I saw coming from above the surface was never actually coming FOR ME? What if it glides on by while I drown in my own terror and anxiety over what almost was?

I think God makes the waters of life less clear sometimes for a reason. There is so much sin in this world that could reach out a hand and take hold of us at any moment. The Bible tells us in 1 Peter 5:8 that the “Devil prowls around like a lion, seeking someone to devour.” Can you imagine if we truly could see this world the way God does? No veil, no cover over the demons and warfare happening all around us. Perhaps we would fall to our knees and worship God more dutifully if we could see how He fights for us daily, but I would venture to guess that many of us would simply fall to our knees and be paralyzed in fear. With so many potential dangers all around us, would we ever be able to move? To follow our callings? To find joy or experience grace? 

We are in a season of life right now that often has me praying for clarity. Our family is on the move and with 6 kids, 2 adults and dogs to consider, it is no easy task. Throw in other parties who have opinions and thoughts on the matter, you might be able to see why I have taken refuge at the end of our dock this afternoon. A slight breeze now has the water lapping at the shore and I can see a nearby log bobbing in the water. There are no documented marine predators in these waters like those from where I was raised, but that log may be mistaken as the Flathead Monster if it strays too far. Like most large bodies of water, there are stories of prehistoric creatures below the waves, but I think the most interesting tale of the Flathead Monster is the original legend, one that coincidentally enough began with a move. 

The story states that long ago, the first Kootenai tribe to live in the area resided on one of the large islands in Flathead Lake. One winter, once the water had fully frozen over, the tribe was on the move to setup a new camp. Two young girls from the tribe spotted a pair of large antlers sticking out through the ice and, assuming they belonged to a now deceased animal, they went to retrieve them. When the girls began to cut the antlers away from the creature, the massive rack started to shake, cracking the ice all around them and a monster appeared from below the depths. The girls were able to escape but the destruction of the ice led to half of the tribe drowning in the lake. I imagine that no one that day expected to encounter a monster or to lose half of their family. They most likely awoke with a simple task. Today, we pack and move. But it is so easy isn’t it, in the middle of being called to complete a seemingly mundane task we become distracted and feel the need to act. I am exceedingly aware that my “doer” attitude makes me very susceptible to this behavior. Something happens in our life and my first instinct is to go and do. Sometimes, that is a massive blessing and it works out wonderfully. Other times, I take that step and the ice beneath me crumbles. Yet again, I find myself in the cold water because I chose to move based solely in my own understanding.

The good news is that instead of seeing each potential doom surrounding us and feeling forced to trust in finding our own path, God tells us that He knows out path and to trust in Him. I for one feel far more confident in Him than in myself, so in spite of the number of times I pray for God to show me what is coming, I will feel blessed to continue to wade through muddy waters. They tend to be warmer anyway.